That your biggest fear/fantasy ….. right?

“Grandma’s cough, my biggest fear and fantasy
When I ain’t in her arms all I’m making is enemies”

When I look at society today, I feel alienated to extent to the choices of many things. In a sense, the whole “wow this amazing” feeling is gone for most things. As a matter of fact, recently I’ve been living more within myself which is very unlike an extrovert.  Its been an combination of exciting and frightening for the most part; going through the mind that is my personal deep mine. Searching for treasure which is memories & answers to the moments & questions I have.

That childish outlook I have of life seems to have an expiry date. Sadly I can’t seem to use it all the time anymore or risk making enemies in this toxic world. To the few that know, the passion still there and burning brightly. Yet, I’m aware of those trying to steal and put out this flame. Almost like a game of keep away, how long can I keep this fire burning before those that seek it blow it out?

It funny, the brighter the flame, the more I feel I can accomplish with my life. The tunnel of ones mine/d also becomes clearer and don’t lead to culdesacs. Yet when I let the flame almost fizzles out I’m lost & limited in the directions I can go. One thing that clear from the two methods is that a balance & proper management of how this flame is used will decide how I will unlock the secrets of this mine/d I carry around.

I don’t know how much time I have left like the rest you don’t know either. Yet, each new fantasy, question, fear, answer, etc. pushes me to discover & fulfill that desire or squash that bone chilling gut feeling. The clock always ticking down & that the scary part for me.

Ultimately, what sad is this exact process isn’t discuss openly among our society in face to face conversations. Were left to text, video chat, blog in my case, or suppress until we can’t hold no more. That decline in some area of life of human interaction with people is a result of this growing problem for some. Those that can relate or understand our problems I’ve felt been a crucial antidote in solving our personal mine/d. Yet one the other hand maybe its a sight of an evolution to a higher state were just realizing is possible….

“Because the internet, mistakes are forever
But if we f*@k up on this journey at least we’re together
Man, I wish I could go back and tell that kid it’s make-believe
Make ’em believe in themselves, people who needed my help
Feelings I felt, keeling myself
No one’ ever been this lost…. “

 

Find me,

 

#MisunderstoodProphet

 

wpid-images-1.jpg.jpegPlease Help Others… Don’t be afraid

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You blink… right?

Check phone
11:01.
Subtract 2 mins,
10:59.

I look up the street for the bus to carry me to the place that define my generation, the bars. Ain’t staying long however as tomorrow is Saturday & I got 12 hours of free labor at an international event ahead of me. To add injury to insult this ain’t factoring in my 3 hours of living on transit to get there & back before this time tomorrow.

11:07.
Subtract 2 mins
11:05

I’m ushering traffic around a motorcycle accidents as my bus comes down the street. The biker was thankfully ok with only a few scratches & his ride or die brother came back to make sure he was alive. The bike on the other hand was going to need a visit the shop the following day for what looked like minor repairs.

Check phone.
11:15.
Subtract 2 mins.

Getting off the bus to witness what has become a place that turns into a blur every week is truly sad. The girls are uninteresting teases that don’t know what they want with themselves nor in a man. The women are carry around baggage due to the amount of failed attempts they took on boys they saw as men at the time. Thus, guys are left in a weird dilemma that even with technology haven’t been able to solve.

Check phone
1:11.
Subtract 2 mins.

On my way home in a cab down a few wasted bucks because of cover, food & pool reflecting on what I learn. Observing the human interactions of those in the bar/billiard/club environment made for some great entertainment considering some leave their common sense at home. I can only blame the alcohol in allowing these people to loosen up.

 

“Home…..”

Check Phone
1:30
Subtract 2 mins.

 Melrose

 

I’m lost,

#MisunderstoodProphet

The Mighty Warlord

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When we’ve obtained power beyond compare
What sort of world will we see before us?
No matter what this power means for me
My goal won’t change, I’ll keep pushing ahead
When we’ve obtained power beyond compare
What kind of world will we see before us?
Until we’ve changed the status quo
Until I can rule over all
Keep escalating to the zenith!

Maybe it’s the last night…. right?

Lately, I’ve been growing up in front of a lot of folks while I’ve witness self growth in others around me during this process of transition. Personally, its pretty cool as you see how people deal with their demons on a daily basis. For instance, when I was younger, I play a bunch of Street of Rage 3 & Mortal Kombat for the Sega Genesis. This saw a lot of throwing of the controller, chairs, etc. due to the simple fact: of not knowing how to deal with a mistake that resulting in “Game Over” or losing to someone. Looking back that “fire” or desire to win at any cost from my childhood has been a double edge sword in this toxic world. Of course I’ve probably gain things some folks may of given up because of that same drive.  Yet…

Next time you go outside, just observe the people around your community. You’ll see a bunch of people that haven’t received the cruel joke that will hit them yet. For some, its may be in the next  few minutes, for others its could be decades away. Its a pretty raw way of looking at life I admit. I’m no exception, especially considering I’m like many that take for granted time given because we don’t know how much we bought when we came into this world. People for the most part build this wall the highest I find around these kind of fears (death, phobias, etc.) in my experience.  Some  are better with dealing with life without that knowledge as some drunk woman told me at a club.

Yet this past week I met a man who found the mental strength to stop listening to these demons & possibly avoid being another, for now, from getting the last laugh from life. The guy ending up changing his life for the better even those he live with fighting that addiction of drugs for the rest of his life. I must say it was quite dope to find out he also a footy fan and wanted to go for drinks as well another time. Where his number go?

Nevertheless, that night was a cool learning experience and deep reflection thanks to BTI in the ears for a long walk home to sort stuff out. Starting to fall out of love with clubbing if I’m allowed to be honest here. Its probably due to all the familiar faces you run into and asking yourself “don’t you have better things to be doing with your time?” Than again, I bet they probably are asking the same thing when they run into me. That the thing with life, never know when that cruel punchline coming or what other people are thinking and fighting in this toxic place

 

I’m lost again,

 

#MisUnderstoodProphet

Your my guru… right?

If there were instruction of how to live an successful life, I feel those that didn’t know what to do with their respective lives would probably follow it. However, the factors that separate us and make us into the unique people we become is something truly to admire about life. On our personal journey through our daily lives we faced multiple challenges that we must overcome to continue our growth and ultimately shape our character. Throughout our travels and experiences we come across people of inspiration that present solutions we couldn’t imagine or challenges we’ve been craving to face. True enough, these people may not even be aware of this idolization we possess for them. In fact, what makes these people so special is what make us so special: the ability to observe and understand…..

 

 

I’m lost,

 

#MisunderstoodProphet

I look, My I see You

I look into the water
I see you smiling back

I look into your eyes
I see your soul crack

I look into this gap
I see something shining trapped

I look for an answer
I see nothing but black

I look and seek potential
I see the ace planted

I BELIEVE IN …

I see you break free
My look for an escape

I see your emotions erupt
My look painted thus disrupt

I see what you desire
My look passionately  catches fire

I see what you’ve become
My look says everything numb

I see, the smile,  flood
My look, I’m lost, *thud*