That your biggest fear/fantasy ….. right?

“Grandma’s cough, my biggest fear and fantasy
When I ain’t in her arms all I’m making is enemies”

When I look at society today, I feel alienated to extent to the choices of many things. In a sense, the whole “wow this amazing” feeling is gone for most things. As a matter of fact, recently I’ve been living more within myself which is very unlike an extrovert.  Its been an combination of exciting and frightening for the most part; going through the mind that is my personal deep mine. Searching for treasure which is memories & answers to the moments & questions I have.

That childish outlook I have of life seems to have an expiry date. Sadly I can’t seem to use it all the time anymore or risk making enemies in this toxic world. To the few that know, the passion still there and burning brightly. Yet, I’m aware of those trying to steal and put out this flame. Almost like a game of keep away, how long can I keep this fire burning before those that seek it blow it out?

It funny, the brighter the flame, the more I feel I can accomplish with my life. The tunnel of ones mine/d also becomes clearer and don’t lead to culdesacs. Yet when I let the flame almost fizzles out I’m lost & limited in the directions I can go. One thing that clear from the two methods is that a balance & proper management of how this flame is used will decide how I will unlock the secrets of this mine/d I carry around.

I don’t know how much time I have left like the rest you don’t know either. Yet, each new fantasy, question, fear, answer, etc. pushes me to discover & fulfill that desire or squash that bone chilling gut feeling. The clock always ticking down & that the scary part for me.

Ultimately, what sad is this exact process isn’t discuss openly among our society in face to face conversations. Were left to text, video chat, blog in my case, or suppress until we can’t hold no more. That decline in some area of life of human interaction with people is a result of this growing problem for some. Those that can relate or understand our problems I’ve felt been a crucial antidote in solving our personal mine/d. Yet one the other hand maybe its a sight of an evolution to a higher state were just realizing is possible….

“Because the internet, mistakes are forever
But if we f*@k up on this journey at least we’re together
Man, I wish I could go back and tell that kid it’s make-believe
Make ’em believe in themselves, people who needed my help
Feelings I felt, keeling myself
No one’ ever been this lost…. “

 

Find me,

 

#MisunderstoodProphet

 

wpid-images-1.jpg.jpegPlease Help Others… Don’t be afraid

Advertisements

Maybe it’s the last night…. right?

Lately, I’ve been growing up in front of a lot of folks while I’ve witness self growth in others around me during this process of transition. Personally, its pretty cool as you see how people deal with their demons on a daily basis. For instance, when I was younger, I play a bunch of Street of Rage 3 & Mortal Kombat for the Sega Genesis. This saw a lot of throwing of the controller, chairs, etc. due to the simple fact: of not knowing how to deal with a mistake that resulting in “Game Over” or losing to someone. Looking back that “fire” or desire to win at any cost from my childhood has been a double edge sword in this toxic world. Of course I’ve probably gain things some folks may of given up because of that same drive.  Yet…

Next time you go outside, just observe the people around your community. You’ll see a bunch of people that haven’t received the cruel joke that will hit them yet. For some, its may be in the next  few minutes, for others its could be decades away. Its a pretty raw way of looking at life I admit. I’m no exception, especially considering I’m like many that take for granted time given because we don’t know how much we bought when we came into this world. People for the most part build this wall the highest I find around these kind of fears (death, phobias, etc.) in my experience.  Some  are better with dealing with life without that knowledge as some drunk woman told me at a club.

Yet this past week I met a man who found the mental strength to stop listening to these demons & possibly avoid being another, for now, from getting the last laugh from life. The guy ending up changing his life for the better even those he live with fighting that addiction of drugs for the rest of his life. I must say it was quite dope to find out he also a footy fan and wanted to go for drinks as well another time. Where his number go?

Nevertheless, that night was a cool learning experience and deep reflection thanks to BTI in the ears for a long walk home to sort stuff out. Starting to fall out of love with clubbing if I’m allowed to be honest here. Its probably due to all the familiar faces you run into and asking yourself “don’t you have better things to be doing with your time?” Than again, I bet they probably are asking the same thing when they run into me. That the thing with life, never know when that cruel punchline coming or what other people are thinking and fighting in this toxic place

 

I’m lost again,

 

#MisUnderstoodProphet

Holding Grudges…. right?

I’m not a fan of all this resentment people hold for their ex’s in this era. From my experience, its a build up of bitterness that take the form of what our exes flaws are. As a result, the negative reminders end up being the hurtful daggers that pierce their confidence if strong enough. However, as humans we all know that perfection is something very, very few of us will ever achieve in our lifetime.  I’m firm believer that in order to succeed you got to accept your flaws and nourish them while refining your strengths. As a illustration, consider how you build a team for a task/sport/activity:

What kind of leader do you need?
How many members are required?
What is your Mission?
Which skills are required to make the team a success?
Is the team all on the same page and vision?

All these plus other factors are generally consider at one point of time for many leaders and companies during the process. Job interviews are something we can all relate to. Our resume are suppose to reflect who we are and our experience. Yet some of us lie to cover up our flaws in order to fit the built they seek and get ahead. But what about the people you live with; Surely the fact your family/roommates/your own bad habits hasn’t created negativity in your own life…. right?

Is it because they made an mistake that we can’t forgive them?
Do we not trust anyone to heal our wounds but ourselves?
Did we not reach our standard of expectation for the day?
Can we not escape these cycles we’ve created due to miscommunication?

In the end, these answers you may seek came to me through personally closure with oneself or the person the grudge is held on. We shouldn’t have to carry anymore weight than we need to in our respective lives. Some like the pressure, as they feel they’ll achieve their potential and surpass it this way. Others seek the answer to release them from this pressure to flourish.  Those a common theme with grudges is time either feed them or starve them. Your desire to grow and where your journey will take you will decide this.

“I can’t count the reasons I should stay…. one by one they all just fade away!” – The 88

 

I’m lost,

 

#MisunderstoodProphet

You’re going to share…. right?

Oh! You want privacy... right?

My crush got into a relationship?

Like This Post

Tyler James Williams reply back to me!!!

Favourite This Tweet

How to make a mean tropical smoothies.. dope

Pin this Post

Still shocked I can have the whole “virtual relationship” with someone over on the other side of the world through a black bar the size of a crunch chocolate bar. Its almost seem impossible to believe that this kind of communication hasn’t been around for long. Yet, today its almost become the normal way of how we interact. Originally for instance, a small town before the huge advancement in connective technology I feel was a much better community than what you’ll find nowadays. One major reason is they maintain privacy much better than how most of us as a society do. They were also good at moderation.

Nonetheless, today’s world feels so much bigger because of the many worlds technology has allow us to create. Don’t believe me? Just look at how movies and television series today bring novels and old folk tales to life like we never believed was possible. For me, it may be the Suits, for others its may be Once Upon a Time, maybe your friend that addicted to the party lifestyle feel their living the Workaholics or The Boondocks experience. Than again it could be your neighbour struggling to decide if the Big Bang Theory is better than Community when you really know the I.T. Crowd is where it at. Who knows, you may be screaming in your head how did I forget to mention your favourite show!!!

Video Games in my books, is going be the next bit of technology to explode due to our growth and expansion in multiple fields. Its truly amazing what were capable of producing now a days! From the way we capture facial expressions to way we tell a story through music, pictures and no words. The future is bright for gamers and the line between reality and virtual is slowly getting closer to be blurred out!

Yet, is it possible that with so many options now, that were starting to realize we’ve become an over-sharing generation addicted to a drug of being notified up to the second? Can the only real way to achieve privacy be through giving up our social media identities? Why did we share so much information on these social media identities with others?

** Refresh & check Facebook **
Is there a cure?
** Refresh & check Pinterest **
Can we find a balance?
** Refresh & check Twitter **
Are we allowed to take a step back?
** Refresh & check Tumblr **
What was privacy again?
** Refresh & check Instagram **

I know I’ve asked you too many questions, but it to get you, the reader, thinking hopefully. But don’t stop there! Try to find an answer that your comfortable with, you’ll learn something about yourself. Got it? Mine was that I wanted  MYspace and privacy online to air out my thoughts in an environment where oversharing is accepting. On the other hand, if you’ve arrived at“K” for an answer, that really isn’t a suitable answer to all of life questions my readers. K?

 

I’m lost,

 

#MisunderstoodProphet